August 25, 2005
Sometimes..
Sometimes....
Sometimes you have to waist a whole day of your life and wear yourself out completely before you can realize what has be jumping up and down in your face for so long.
Sometimes...
Sometimes we do not realize what we have until we have lost it or it hits us in the face.
Sometimes...
Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do or who you are around just be yourself.
And sometimes....you have to isolated to be free.
| By Alcuin | 11:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
August 14, 2005
What a week...
What a Great fucking weekend. Last party before school started was last night, and wow there are photos, my neck came close to bleeding. Hehe Post your email and I will shoe you.
| By Alcuin | 06:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
August 08, 2005
In a sky full of stars I am alone.
"I would much rather have a relationship with someone I was really in love with then to have sex with them." ~ myself.
So many people have a night sky full of bright stars and moons, but mine is just blank. Sometimes I will find a very bright one a golden one, but with the blink of the eye she was gone. Seemed like forever but it was only but a few seconds in this life I lead. Something that made all the difference in the world weather for good or bad. It's cold here now, the lights have gone out. I can not seem to find the path again. Not really sure where I am headed right now. I saw that brilliant shinning gold star again today. I need to stop kidding myself...wondering in this dark world finding illusions one after another. Something the gets so deep into your life and then it just ripped away again. I now stumble through the dark hills of the night with a bleeding heart. The bright red blood shows up so well on the dark blue silks I wear. As I walk on words up another hill to find what this time? Another illusion or will I just fall again? Never can tell. Wonder where all the color went...oh yes they fallowed that beautiful shinning star when she left. It began to rain not much else in the would more beautiful then silver needles falling from the sky around you. The trail of blood runs in the rain behind me the mist forms in the dark. White and blinding I am so lost almost beyond all help now.
| By Alcuin | 08:54 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)
July 26, 2005
Don't bother
I feel so empty of late. I just feel blank. Words of wisdom are in short supply these days. I know what I am missing and what I need. To be happy again I'd give anything, and not just a normal happy, but a true lasting happiness. Starting to remember how much I die inside when I am not loved or when I am crushed. Not much is going well for me....well that's a lie....I have nothing at all going for me right now. Nor have I for sometime. If I said I wasn't trying then I'd be lying, because I am trying but nothing is coming of it. It's so hard to stay happy on the outside when your lonely on the inside and feeling like death is near.
I'm trying to help my friends out the best I can....so much drama around them, I try to keep it away. But they are my friends and when they need me I am always there for them. Weather they trust me or not...I do hope that they do, I trust most people I know, and few have lost my trust. Those who have are learning that is is hard it get it back. I may not have very much too offer in the way of gold and gems but I have lots to offer in love and great deeds.
My room is such a mess, it reflects my life most of the time. Either it's a mess because I've been having an awesome week and haven't been home or I've been home and don't care to clean it. It doesn't look like we're going to move out of this house soon...I need to finish painting my room. I'm missing quite a few people right now. And it's sad when the life you play in a game is better then your real life.
My life is going no where right now. No luck with a job, no car, no GED. I just don't feel like trying anymore. Because I have been trying, and nothing has come of all of it. I have no motivation right now, and I can't seem to find any. I also feel like quite a few people are just ignoring me...I can't tell.
Things are stressing me out, I need to get away from my family. I need to be happy again. I just don't know what to do anymore. It's so hard for me to stay focused on things that I should be focused on.
It's far too hot in my house, my head hurts. It's a nice day today, but I can't find anyone to share it with.
I just need someone...*cry*
| By Alcuin | 02:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
July 19, 2005
Feel good
It's really quite interesting how time can seem like it's moving both fast and slow. Like if you are having a good time or have something to look foreword to the hours and days just fly by, and if you can't keep up you fall behind. Then if there is nothing good to look foreword to things tend to be as slow as a slug, I guess some people like that, but others go insane. One other thing that makes time go insanely fast is WOW because it seems like no time has really past and yet you look at the clock and it reads 7:00am and then you realize that you should really get some sleep because you just played all night.
My mind has been so blank lately witch is a good thing, it's best if I don't over think all the time like I do sometimes.
Windmill windmill for the land
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all there on your stride
It is ticking fallin' down
Love forever love is free
Turn forever you and me
windmill windmill for the land
Is everybody in?
Gorillaz Feel Good.
^_^ such a kick ass song!
You got a new horizon it's an ephemaral style
In a melancholy town where we never smile
And all I want to hear is the message beep
My dreams they come a kissin' cause I don't get sleep no
Saw a preview for Tim Burton's Corpse Bride, and it's going to be awesome. Tim and johnny! OMFG awesome!
That's about all for today.
/dance
| By Alcuin | 11:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
July 18, 2005
other worlds
In other world the most fun can be had sometimes. With people you enjoy being around.
Like dancing on a beach with your friend who is a bear.
all in all it has been a good week.
| By Alcuin | 12:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)